The Megalomaniac and the Princess
by Querida
Summary: Because there just aren't enough fics on Inu-Yasha's parents. He was well on his way to world domination. She was a confusing princess. Watch as the meet, fall in love, marry, and deal with it.
1. Default Chapter

The Megalomaniac and the Princess  
  
By:  
Querida  
  
A/N: Why are there so few fics about Inu-Yasha's parents? Why are there so few cannon Inu-Yasha fics? Is there a point in me asking? Sessho-Maru fans take this fic with a grain of salt. Disclaimer: There is some debate as to who owns the Shikon Shards. Whoever it is, it isn't me, because I don't own anything involving Inu-Yasha, except one measly manga volume.  
  
Chapter One: The Side Effects of Elongated Sleep Deprivation  
  
It was times like these he honestly had to wonder why his goal in life was world domination. Times when you got three hours of sleep on average, in particular. Sometimes, it just wasn't worth it.  
  
"What," he growled, "is it?" The nameless servant trembled in fear.  
  
"I-Inutaisho-sama, the traitor Oniki has been located. He has been pretending to be a forest god in a ningen village." He said, bowing low. From his position, he noticed with an awkward grimace that the wooden floor had the beginnings of a termite infestation. His lord would not be happy about that.  
  
To be perfectly honest though, Inutaisho was of the opinion that nothing could ruin his bad mood. This is not necessarily saying he was right (several things could, but he was too tired to think of them), but that he would care about the termites about as much as he cared for the local trout population. And, he had no idea there was even a local trout population, so that was saying a great deal.  
  
"And why," he asked irritably, realizing there was no way he could get a little more sleep, "didn't the scout deem to kill him?" He lifted his head to give the servant a groggy, grouchy stare. The servant bowed his head to the ground.  
  
"I know not, Inutaisho-sama! Perhaps he thought you would like the pleasure of killing the traitor and make an example out of him." Actually, the scout didn't kill him because it was happy hour at the youkai bar, and had been too drunk afterwards to do anything. But there was no reason the Lord of the West had to know that. Said Lord of the West took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  
  
"If you want things done right, I guess you have to do them yourself." He sighed, sitting up in his bed. He thought about what he just said for a moment. "That's a good one, write that down." The servant quickly sat up, pulled out a piece of paper and a brush and wrote it down. The dog demon noticed he had several crushed bugs on his forehead.  
  
"An excellent quote, my lord. Excellent indeed." The servant went on buttering him up, but he was too busy staring at his forehead to notice.  
  
"What is your name?" He asked, as an afterthought.  
  
"I am but a lowly servant, mi lord. I'm hardly worthy to say my true name in your presence." The servant protested.  
  
"You know, if you keep sucking up to me anymore, you're going to swallow my foot. Just answer the question."  
  
"Jaken, Inutaisho-sama."  
  
"The toad prince my son saved?"  
  
"Hai, milord."  
  
"Well, Jaken, you have some dead bugs on your forehead. Just thought you'd like to know." The toad's eyes widened, and he bowed low again.  
  
"Arigato gozaimasu, Inutaisho-sama!"  
  
"Now leave, before I loose my foot." The servant/prince/thing nodded his head and left. Inutaisho groaned a little, rubbed his eyes, and got ready for the day. As he removed his sword, he accidentally knocked down a fan. He stared at it. It had been his wife, Yukiohi's favorite. Whatever she lacked in personality she made up for in perception. She had used the fan to cover smirks or frowns when examining petitioners or potential allies. Yukiohi had always said that it was better to let them think they knew nothing, and she had been right. Often, they had caught enemies claiming to be allies like that. But, she was no longer with the living. She had died in a fight with her sister, though she had brought her down with her. Despite the fact she had been somewhat of an ice queen (or snow, as her name would imply) he found herself missing her. Then Oniki would never have become an issue, he would never have had to wake up after only two and a half hours of sleep, never have had to pick up a sword, never have had to knock her fan down, never have had to pick it up, and never would have had to discover he had a termite problem. Termites of all things. How sad. He stared at the fan a little longer, before sweeping out of the room, and straight into his son.  
  
"Sumimasen, Chichi-ue-sama." Said Sessho-Maru. Whether or not he was sincere about it was anyone's guess. He, unfortunately, inherited his mother's personality.  
  
"It's alright, son. What are you doing up so early?"  
  
"Why are you? I thought you would be sleeping a little longer."  
  
"I asked you first." He tried to be easy-going with his son, in hopes he would pick up some of his mannerisms.  
  
"I am up because I have business to attend to." The younger answered cryptically. It was then realization dawned on the elder.  
  
His son was a basket case.  
  
He didn't exactly revel in this newfound nugget of knowledge. At the mention of nugget, he came to another earth shattering revelation. He was hungry.  
  
"Well," he said, "I hope your business includes the kitchens. Join me for breakfast." But, no such luck. Sessho-Maru shook his head.  
  
"I have already eaten breakfast." He said in his usual distant matter. Inutaisho gave up.  
  
"Another time then." He suggested.  
  
"Another time." With that, he bowed slightly and excused himself. His father watched him go. He never had time for his father, did he? Children these days, honestly. Suddenly feeling much older than his three centuries, he went off to the kitchens to determine what to eat.  
  
Sessho-Maru frowned a little to himself (which sent the servants into a run reminiscent of a ningen being chased by a bear). He disliked his father being so inquisitive in his personal matters.  
  
Like he would really tell him he had to go take a dump.  
  
***  
  
"What was the shape the spy found him in?" He asked his general, Raioji.  
  
"He was in a humanoid form, I suppose. He had brown hair, green eyes, and his clothes were also in the same color. He'll be the one running in terror from you, I suppose!" Raioji exclaimed, laughing at his own joke. Inutaisho found himself contemplating a personnel change.  
  
"And he's hiding out in this village?"  
  
"Aye, milord. When will you be leaving? Should I bring a rake?" He laughed again at his own joke, and Inutaisho had to dig his claws in the floor to keep himself from dicing him into tiny pieces, although it *would* be an ideal solution to his stress problem.  
  
"That won't be necessary Raioji. Just give me the map." He commanded dryly. The general rolled the map up and tied it quickly, handing it to him. He took it, and put it in his belt. He never carried any supplies aside from a sword, water canteen, and a map. It was easier that way. Raioji saluted, Inutaisho saluted back, and stalked out into the wide open.  
  
The sun was shining, the flowers were swaying in the breeze, and the birds were chirping cheerily.  
  
He wished they'd all shut up and let him sleep for once.  
  
And there you have it, my first (posted) Inu-Yasha fic. I would love it if you reviewed and told me what you thought. And be honest. Just not scathing. =)  
  
*Jaken was supposedly a toad-youkai prince, or so I heard. *Inutaisho is not his actual name. His actual name is never actually mentioned, but this one is in common usage. *Hai = yes *Arigato gozaimasu = the polite way of saying 'thank you very much'.  
  
Next chapter will be introducing Inu-Yasha's momma and his parent's first meeting! 


	2. The UnCaptivated Captive

The Megalomaniac and the Princess  
By:  
Querida  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Inu-Yasha. If you don't know that already, I'd have to worry about your concept of reality.  
  
Chapter Two: The Un-captivated Captive  
  
When they asked her what she thought she would be doing ten years from now, this was not a scenario that had immediately popped into her head. But here she was, ten years later, being sacrificed to a phony forest god who looked more like a squirrel than their usual giant chipmunk. She regarded the youkai with some annoyance, but more fear. But she refused to show it. She would never show her enemy fear.  
  
Even if her enemy was a ten-foot tall squirrel.  
  
"So, do you do impersonations for a living, then?" She asked, trying to start a conversation. The youkai stared at her, angry, but nervous.  
  
"What mean you, ningen?" He demanded. If he sweated anymore, they would both drown in it. She frowned at the thought, at the situation, and at life in general. She was going to be eaten by a giant squirrel youkai. Hey-ho.  
  
"I mean what I say."  
  
"So say what you mean!"  
  
"I mean, you're clearly *not* the forest god. It would've been a good impersonation if you were a little more.chipmunk.y." She started hesitantly. The nervousness in the air was so thick people could suffocate on it.  
  
The youkai turned to face her, and she felt that at any moment, she might slip back into infantile regression.  
  
Well, as far as infantile regression can go when one is chained to a rock.  
  
She wanted to scream.  
  
She wanted to cry.  
  
She wanted to strangle the idiots who fell for the youkai's trick.  
  
But really, all she wanted was her mommy. Or a good book to distract her, even if all she had was 'The Tale of Genji.'* The youkai got in her face, and she attempted to back away, trying to pretend the rock was not there. It was a sad attempt. The rock maintained that it was there, and it did exist, and it would continue to make the rest of her life (all three minutes of it) difficult.  
  
"What is your name?" He growled.  
  
A squirrel.  
  
Growled at her.  
  
She would've laughed, had she not been busy trying to keep herself from peeing.  
  
"H-Hanashira." She said, trying to keep the tremor in her voice down.  
  
"Well, Hanashira," he said backing away (she let out a sigh of relief), "where is the nearest exit?" He whispered, looking around frantically. She blinked at the sudden mood change. A few seconds ago, she was fearing for her life. Now, in a spectacular display of role reversal, he was above and beyond fearing for his.  
  
There was something decidedly wrong about this. Well, aside from everything.  
  
If she got out of this alive, she was going to have to take a month's vacation. It was going to take at least two weeks to straighten out her emotions, let alone the psychological damage. A shadow passed over the outside. That was odd, it had been perfectly sunny a few minutes ago.  
  
"Exits won't save you, Oniki. Nothing will," A deep, throaty, booming voice announced.  
  
Oniki beat Hanashira to the infantile regression stage.  
  
"Oh no, oh no, oh no. He found me; I knew he'd find me. Why didn't I go sooner?" He muttered, rocking back and forth, looking around for a miracle. She glared.  
  
Why didn't he think about that sooner?  
  
The new and sudden addition of a sunroof in the temple drew their attention away from their thoughts. What was it with animals today?  
  
"Inutaisho-sama! Mercy! I beg you!" The squirrel squeaked at the dog. The dog growled.  
  
"For the love of." Inutaisho disappeared. Oniki got up, and ran around frantically.  
  
"What do I do, what do I do?" He cried. She began to get the creeping feeling of inadequacy, with a pinch of helplessness. The door burst open, and what appeared to be a human strode in. He cleared his throat.  
  
"As I was going to say, for traitors, there is no mercy." At this point, Oniki did the only thing he could do. He hid behind the rock. The lord of the west blinked, and his eyes became an eerie red. "Coward!" He flew after him. Oniki ran around the rock. Inutaisho followed. Soon, they were running around the rock she was chained to, squirrel screaming in fear, dog growling like mad, and woman deciding she was beyond all psychological help now.  
  
Finally, the inu youkai* realized he was running around a rock, and stopped. The ogre stopped too. Hanashira sighed, realizing today had not been her day. Maybe all her days had not been her day, and she'd been too busy ignoring life to notice. She made a note to herself to take up gardening.  
  
"You knew the consequences of your actions. There is no point in dying a coward." The dog said, coldly. The oni burst into tears.  
  
"I had to! My family lives in the eastern lands, and if I hadn't, Kyousei- sama would've killed them! Please, understand milord!" Oniki begged, still sobbing. Inutaisho twitched at the mention of his archrival, Kyousei, leader of the tree youkai clan.  
  
"Well, then you should've sided with him, shouldn't you have?" He flew into the air, bringing his claws down. He ignored the dying scream of the traitor, and the cry of 'no' from the woman whose presence he didn't acknowledge. The body of the giant squirrel fell crashing on top of the rock, cracking it into a million pieces. Hanashira screamed in fear, ducking. The chains slackened greatly, and she hastily shoved it off and whirled on the 'newcomer', gasping.  
  
"He had a good reason! Why did you kill him?" She demanded, summoning all her regal arrogance. She'd need it. If she had been scared of the former Oniki, she was terrified of Inutaisho. Actually, she had no idea why she was defending that thing, except that the story, and his reaction to the story bothered her. He ignored her and tried to walk away.  
  
"I'm talking to you, you.you.cur!" She immediately wished she hadn't said that. The demon's back stiffened, and he turned around slowly. A cold, cold, fury (didn't quite) smolder in his eyes. She backed away, and up to a wall. She had no idea why she did that, if having her back to a rock hadn't helped her, a wall was sure to be less empathetic. He approached her, the very face of menace.  
  
"What?" She said slowly, menacingly. He was practically oozing with menace. In fact, if he didn't watch it, he'd ooze himself into oblivion. In a very menacing manner, of course.  
  
He was, very clearly, angry.  
  
She was, very clearly, in over her head.  
  
Despite this, she was determined to at least make it known that he had done wrong. She gathered up what little courage she had left, and looked pointedly at his nose.  
  
"I said, why did you kill him?" Her voice was very shaky. He exploited on this.  
  
"You are scared of me." He said, making every syllable sound eviler than the first.  
  
"S-so? I'm human, after all, not an ice cube." She said, continuing to make her stand. He slammed each hand by her head, making her tremble.  
  
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you." He asked. She took a deep breath, and stilled her quaking.  
  
"Because." She said. He blinked. That was it? Because? Was he dealing with a princess or a little girl? Was there a difference?  
  
Actually, that hadn't been all of the answer, but she'd lost her voice before she could say the rest. He put a single claw on her throat.  
  
"That isn't a very good answer." He said, letting up. Inutaisho knew that he should've killed her; he had no idea why he didn't now. He turned to leave instead.  
  
"You.you know I'm right!" She called, a tiny bit more confident. She only got one word for a reply, sort of.  
  
"Feh." He disappeared out of the room, not even turning. After she was sure he was gone, she finally let the situation get to her, and broke down crying.  
  
***  
  
Inutaisho kicked a rock as he went. Sure enough, his day had gone from bad to worse. He never, ever felt bad about killing his enemies. Why should Oniki be any different? But that woman.  
  
Oh, that woman.  
  
He had always thought himself a pretty nice guy, for a demon. He felt he was lenient with his staff, loving towards his son.  
  
She made him realize he was no better than Kyousei. And that made him angry.  
  
That woman! Why didn't he kill her?  
  
He was so preoccupied with his angry thoughts that he didn't notice he'd gone straight through two streams already. He would've already been halfway home in his true form, but that thought hadn't crossed his mind. In fact, a lot of thoughts hadn't, such as if he weren't a little more careful, he'd look a walking bush. Several twigs and leaves were already entangled in his silver hair. He sighed. This was getting him nowhere. He figured this might be an effect of not sleeping well; he sat down with the full intention of a nap.  
  
Sleep refused to go anywhere near him. He couldn't get the woman out of his head.  
  
Or maybe it was the trout in his pants.  
  
Argh! I had fully intended to make this focus on Hanashira, but Inutaisho is just a little too fun to screw with. /Sigh/ I promise, the next one will be completely focused on her. I'd demand you review, but that would sound a little too pushy. So please, do it of your own free will! Owari.for now. 


End file.
